What's in a Memory?
by courderouge2006
Summary: Sequel to "More than a Memory" and "Save Me?" Did Lois really see what she thought the night of the attack on Bruce's limousine? Song is "Leave the Memories Alone" by Fuel. I own nothing.


Sequel to "More than a Memory" and "Save Me?". Song is "Leave the Memories Alone" by Fuel. I own nothing here.

--

She sat at her desk across from his, unable to look away. He had left the desk six times between 7:38 AM and now, 2:42 PM. He was always rushing off somewhere and coming back with his clothes tussled and she knew he had been up to something, but this was nowhere near what she thought.

_**So here I am with my thoughts of you  
And this world I've left for me  
Stoic faces when I think of you  
And how I once believed**_

She just figured that he had actually found some girl around here, maybe some little intern on one of the upper floors or a secretary, maybe even the new gossip girl. Clark ran off when his phone buzzed, and came back fixing his tie. She wanted to give him a hard time about it, but there was one problem… what if it was true?

For some reason, Lois didn't want to face that possibility.

_**So now you call me, but you know I won't let you through  
I've myself to deceive**_

But that had to be the reason. It couldn't be… it couldn't be what she thought. There was no way that Clark… that Smallville was… the Red-Blue Blur?

_**So leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see  
The way it is, as to how it used to be**_

She shook her head, grinning. "No way. I must have hit my head, there's no way I saw him there. It was just my eyes playing tricks on me. That's right Lane, you've had plenty of concussions before. Remember that one time you thought the tequila worm did a little number in the shot glass? Or the time you thought you were stuck in that weird desert with Clark and Kara?" She chuckled to herself, looking up when she heard someone settle in the chair and noticed Clark sitting down, fixing his collar.

"Hey Smallville, sneak off for a quickie with one of the interns? Robbing the cradle, what would Mama Kent think?" She smiled as he turned slightly redder, then turned back to her laptop… until she noticed something. "Did… did someone burn a bagel? Do you smell smoke?"

Clark shook his head. "Nope. Must just be you Lois." He shrugged with that dopey, goofy… cute look on his face.

Lois tilted her head, staring at him as he went back to work. Her lips opened, a question on the tip of her tongue… but she couldn't make herself say anything. Getting up quickly, she left the bullpen, leaning against the wall of the hallway, her face in her hands. "It can't be. Not him. Not Smallville. My Clark is not a superhero. I mean Clark is not a superhero."

_**Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
And I'll hold you here in my memory**_

Smoothing her blouse, she walked back to her desk. Before she sat back down she noticed a bag from a local clothing store sticking out from under Clark's desk. "What's this Smallville, have to run out to the shops on your lunch break?" She reached down and snatched the bag up, pulling out a plain red jacket, just like one she had remembered seeing him wear before a long time ago on the farm. "What's this?"

Clark stood, snatching it away quickly. "It's a jacket Lois. My old one wore out. I figured you'd be proud I actually splurged for a new coat instead of patching the old one again." He grinned at her, his eyebrow cocked, and she felt a _big_ tingle start at her toes.

She just stared at him, memories of that night flashing back, before she sat down quietly, going right to work on the latest tip to come across her desk.

Clark just looked across the desks, confused. Usually Lois would snap at a chance to tease him, and that was a pretty good set up if he did say so himself. Shrugging, he sat down, pulling up the reports on the apartment fire that broke out a half hour ago.

--

Lois sat on her sofa in the apartment above the Talon. Boxes were strewn around the couch and the coffee table, and she was going through pictures and scrapbooks. Well mostly just random pictures, she hadn't really gotten around to putting most of them in scrapbooks.

_**So I find me in your garden now  
A sad smile for the scene**_

Pictures of her and Lucy, their family years ago just before her mom had died. Pictures of her and her favorite cousin Chloe. And pictures of her and her new family, the Kents.

She had to laugh at the reminder of the day Martha tried to teach her how to bake a cherry pie. Jonathan had said it was good but after one bite he pretended he had gotten a text message that some feed had come into the supplier and he was out the door. She laughed. Mr. Kent wouldn't know how to open a text message even if that old brick of a cell phone he used could get one.

Martha had said she needed to get to work right away on dinner since the oven was already preheated, but she would try some later on.

Good old Clark, he had actually sat down and stomached through two pieces of the pie, and grinned the whole way through. She never tried to cook another pie after that, but at least she did have a good memory of that attempt.

But now she wondered how many memories of him were actually different from what she had seen?

_**  
And all the flowers that we planted now  
Taken by the weeds**_

Was he actually trying to be nice, or was he just able to pass it off and get it down without even tasting it, laughing at her the entire time? Did he find humor in all the things she had tried and messed up at? Was she just a big joke to him?

Standing up, she threw the picture of them after she had dunked him their senior… his senior year at Smallville High, to the floor. Walking into the kitchen she reached into the freezer and pulled out a bottle of vodka, spinning the cap off and reaching for a glass before she stopped.

She remembered being in the freezing water, paralyzed, because of Geoff Johns. And who came to her rescue? Good old Clark. He made a joke here and there, but she had seen his eyes. He was worried when he found her. And he had asked her to maybe lay off the drinking, since that shot contest was what got her into that mess to begin with. Staring at the bottle, she sighed, and put it back into the freezer, getting a glass of water instead.

_**But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me  
They stand tall there, in that summer breeze**_

She picked the picture back up carefully, smiling. Clark didn't mock her. He didn't make fun of her or get his kicks from her screw ups. He cared.

_**Leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see  
The way it is, as to how it used to be**_

Her memories of him weren't wrong. There was just more to them than she knew. Even if he didn't have powers, she was pretty sure Clark would have choked down that piece of pie, and then discretely managed to get to the Smallville Medical Center without her knowing.

_**Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
**_

She rooted through a box next to the couch and found an empty frame. After a little bending, she made the photo fit inside and put it on the end table next to the sofa. Brushing her thumb over his face through the glass, she smiled even bigger.

_**And I'll just hold you here in my memory**_

"Alright Smallville. I see now."

_**In my memory, yeah**_

--

Lois paced the hallway, her heels clicking on the tile floors, echoing through the emptiness. It was strange to see this place so empty, it should be noisy and full of excitement, but it was late after all.

She had come to a decision. She had to talk to him. It wasn't fair, the secrets, and all the hiding. It had to end.

_**So leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see  
The way it is, as to how it used to be  
Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
And I'll hold you in my memory**_

She heard heavy footsteps and turned, seeing his dark hair over the edge of the stairway, he was getting closer. Steeling her nerve, she tried to calm herself down, thinking about why she was doing this.

She saw him tossing hay bales, picking up the slack when she had tried to help earn her keep on the farm.

_**You'll never change**_

She saw him playing with Shelby, glaring at her with that twinkle in his eye when she called the dog Clarkie "on accident" again.

_**You'll never change**_

She saw him showing up at the facility Chloe was being held in and jumping right into the rescue with her, and she knew he rescued Chloe even after she had been incapacitated.

_**You'll never change**_

"Lois. What… what are you doing here this late?"

She turned and smiled softly. Walking closer, she reached out, wrapping his hand in hers. "We need to talk."

"Oh alright. Would you like to…?"

She shook her head, holding one hand up. "No. I just… I have to say that I've been doing a lot of thinking. And I'm sorry. But I can't do this."

His expression changed, from that charming smile to a confused frown. "What? Lois, what are you talking about?"

She took a deep breath and steeled herself once more… and squeezed his hand again.

"I'm so sorry."

**_You will never change_**


End file.
